I know lately my postings have had pretty loaded questions with no easy answers, but I have really appreciated some of the feedback that I am receiving. With that being said I have another heavy hitting post just waiting to materialize. So here it goes…. This time my topic of great concern is bullying. I know that there is no easy fix to this problem, but I just feel the need to talk about it.
Recently I was speaking with a parent about some of the struggles that their child is facing with being bullied in their school. She told me that her son is picked on everyday at school by kids who were his close friends only a year ago. I asked her what the change was and why she thought this may be happening and she simply stated that his friends have grown physically faster than him and now he is an easy target. My heart broke when I heard this was happening and thought of the thousands of kids that are going through the same thing. This boy hates going to school now and his mind is being consumed with what these kids are doing to him. He can’t concentrate on his studies, he has lost his appetite and he has even developed stomach ulcers over it. I know that the school is trying to stop this from happening, but it is a difficult situation because sometimes the bullying is cyberbullying which is much more difficult to detect. As this woman was speaking to me I was reminded of an incident I encountered about two years ago.
I was at a gas station filling up my car with gas and while I was refueling there were about 60 teenagers standing in the parking lot talking. It was not difficult to over hear the conversations consisting of, “I’m gonna kill him when he gets out here,” “what an f^&*%@ loser” “he’s such a cry baby” etc, etc. It was not difficult to peace together that all of these teenagers were waiting for a boy that hid himself in the gas station store.
Me, not being able to stand the thought of what this boy must be going through decided to get involved. I walked into the store and looked around for a kid that may be the age of the teenagers waiting outside. I found a boy about 16 years old standing in a corner. He looked really afraid, so I approached him and asked him what was going on. He told me that the group of teenagers were from his school and they followed him to the gas station during lunch hour, hurling rocks and threats at him. He hid in the gas station for refuge. When I asked him why they were after him he said it was because he was standing up for another boy who was being bullied, which caused a bit of a fight.
I told him that I would drive him back to his school so that he wouldn’t have to face the kids waiting outside for him. I walked out of the store and in as menacing a tone as I could muster told the crowd of kids that what they were doing was illegal and that authorities would be brought into it. My heart was pounding so fast. I don’t usually get involved in confrontation, but I knew that something had to be done. The boy seemed scared and thankful at the same time.
When we got to the school I walked him inside and took him to the principal’s office to tell the principal of the incident. Once we were inside the office, the principal called me into his office for a private discussion. I proceeded to tell him what had happened thinking in my mind that something would be done about it. To my complete and utter dismay the principal told my that the boy brought it on himself. WHAT???? I don’t care what anyone does, no one deserves to be threatened this way! I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and I could feel my face turning red and getting very hot with frustration. I felt like I was at a loss. If the administration in this school was not doing anything to reprimand these bullies then what sort of outcome is there for these children. I told him that if he didn’t do anything about I would get the police involved. He told me he would look into it. I said that it wasn’t enough to just to look into it, something further needed to be done. I can’t even imagine the fear this boy must have felt during this incident. As far as I know the principal did very little and the boy ended up transferring schools. I know that most schools have zero tolerance toward bullying and there are a lot of programs to stop it, but maybe more needs to be done. Consequences for bullying need to be much greater than just a slap on the wrist. Countless kids have taken their lives because of bullying and others have had long term affects from bullying. I think that we as educators need to do more to save these lives and to make sure that there is zero tolerance to bullying. What are some things we as educators can do? What are some of the warning signs of children facing bullying and cyberbullying and not telling anyone? What should parents be watching for? Here are a couple of videos from YouTube that show the effects of bullying. I also think that kids need to be educated in ways that they can stand and be the one to help a bullied classmate. Kids also need to be taught to come forward if they are a victim. Are classrooms talking enough about this? What do you think? I know I pose questions with no easy answers, but sometimes continued discussion and collaboration is what’s needed to figure out a solution.
Sorry for some reason wordpress would not allow me to embed the videos. I hope you will take time to click on the links and watch them even if you have seen them before. Also, there are many other awareness videos on the web that could be shared with students.